Jim still with a grin on his face about tomorrow night’s date ambled home, he had had a good session but still not too bad. To make him feel better one fellow Friday night boozer was staggering in front of Jim and it appeared that plotting his course on a path some five foot wide was somewhat of a challenge. Jim was sure his own course was not exactly laser beam strait, however the lad in front was making him smile broadly. Some 100 yards or so in front he saw the worse for wear young man terminally distract him self with the simple act of scratching his head, that was it equilibrium gone! One sway to the right and nearly in to the road, just like a car who’s back end had strayed out and the driver over corrected that and the effect of the fuel sloshing in the same direction, in this case the gallon and a half of Tetley’s. This fellow barrelled face first in to some poor unsuspecting families’ privet! Jim ambled up asking are you all right mate? Yeah, ‘kin shoes, don’t go for a drink in new shoes….gets you every time. Yes, Jim smiled I can see that, do you need a hand to get out? I’ll be all right in a minute…..go on then, the lad stretched out his hand. At that point the effect of the volume of Tetley’s consumed decided to show it’s self. He barfed all down the left side of his own body and in to the garden. In the act he coated a garden gnome, don’t remember eating that, he chuckled! Jim mentioned, got to get off old lad, will you be all right? Without waiting for an answer Jim launched of towards the chippy!
No queue in the fish shop this time of night, what will it be Jim, Alf the owner enquired, once wrapped Alf. And mushy peas! In two minutes Jim doing his best not to wake up the house arranged his fish, chips and mushy peas on the plate. Adding the salt vinegar, ketchup on the fish and chips and HP sauce on the peas. TV on, every one else in bed, well Mum & Dad as that was the family and Jim doing his best to be quiet! Jim watched TV but for the life of him he couldn’t have cared less what he was watching, but it passed the time between eating and going to bed! Jim took his plate back to the kitchen and climbed the stairs to bed.
Saturday, Jim awoke at 11.30am mouth feeling like the bottom of a budgies cage, head feeling just a tad heavy and feeling in the mood for a bacon sandwich. Jim slung some clothes on from the pile on his bedroom floor and headed down stairs. Dived in the fridge for bacon and eggs, Mum wandered in to the kitchen…..what do you look like and which hedge were you dragged through last night. Not me Mum, but some poor bugger was wedged in one in Westland Road, I wonder if he’s still there! Didn’t you help him Jim, well it’s like this Mum, and he’d decorated his suit with the contents of his guts and my charitable feeling towards helping my fellow man dissolved in to the nights sky! Mmmm, Mum replied!
Two bacon and fried egg sandwiches just what you need to sit down to watch ITV sports……oh yes and a can of MeEwan’s export Jim found in the fridge…after last night, Jim’s Mum mused, how can you drink that, easy Jim replied……hair if the dog!
Breakfast consumed Jim remembered, he’d arranged to plat Barry at Tennis at the local park at 1pm. Upstairs football shorts, tracksuit bottoms, T-shirt and trainers…..oh not forgetting the racket and balls. Just as Jim left the back door Barry turned up in his white and rust Triumph Spitfire, with roof down! Jim jumped in and off they went. Barry enquired did you get any last night? Yeah seeing her tonight, just in case it doesn’t work out I’ll see you around town. Jim knew they had a tried and trusted route, maybe a few deviations but no problem finding the lads!
The court were typical local council, tarmac, grey with a few well-worn areas. The game lasted an hour or so, a great way to work off last nights ale. They finished sweaty and decided a quick couple in the Goose might go down well. Jim went in, two pints of Tetley’s, both sat on the grass watching the world go by! So Barry what happened to you, did you get lucky? I don’t know if lucky is the right word, I ended up with that Polish bird who whispered in my ear that she wanted me inside her. Jim inquired, in a good way or a bad way? Well at 10.30 on a Friday night I couldn’t have cared less, any port in a storm. You seeing her tonight, Jim asked, might do later we are going to a club, if I pull no if I don’t she will get lucky!
Back home Jim had spent an hour soaking in the bath and preparing for the night ahead. Suit on with white shirt tie in pocked in case he exits to town, collar over jacket, cuffs over sleeves and folded back and of course the 4” platforms…..not forgetting a generous dowsing or Arimis. It was about time to jump on the bus to see Jane, would he get lucky tonight?
Friday 20 November 2009
Friday 13 November 2009
Friday night draws to a close
The lads are in a circle at the first half of the Precinct, further in was the small dance floor the DJ all in a square configuration. Around the dance floor there are seats, most of this area was a little on the dark side. Now dark and mainly the haunt of West Indians, so there was a sea of white eyes and teeth. Seeing teeth were a good thing, people were happy and smiling. There was often all out fights, however tonight was not one of those nights.
The lads were laughing and joking, most of the lads were dedicated boozers. However Jim had more of a leaning towards the ladies, much to the amusement of the lads. Jim couldn’t fully understand the hilarity, he suspected it was because the rest of the lads were a little unsure with the girls and maybe a tad unsure of them selves. Now Jim’s memory for names was not his strength, so he endeavoured to avoid using them. This could be a problem when phoning his conquests from the night before.
The first group of interesting girls arrived and Jim was the first to notice, one tall dark haired young lady caught his eye. She looked at Jim looked down then back at Jim with a naughty smile, mmm thought Jim. The girls stood next to the lads, it didn’t long for Jim to turn away from his mates and strike up a conversation with the girl in question. This was met with a delayed woooo from the lads, and a dog with two dicks from Wayne. The lines were not unique but Jim did have a way with him, hello what’s your name? With a coy smile she replied Kate, Jim replied the name suits you. Kate observed it’s a good job because I’m stuck with it, your Jim aren’t you? Well yes, but how did you know? You would be surprised what I know! Really Jim replied do tell me, or should I ask? Well, Kate replied, you do like the girls! Jim responded, true, the lads are OK but when it comes to anything after, drinking, banter and playing sport it doesn’t do it for me. What about you Jim asked, I don’t do the drinking with the lads, but there are one or two maybe one in particular I would love to have a drink with. Let me have a wild stab at this Jim mused, It might not be what you were thinking of but I like the odd gamble, how about meeting me tomorrow night? Can’t Saturday, but I can on Sunday. Sounds good to me, Jim, trying to be cool, outside Marks & Sparks 7.30? Great, Kate responded I will see you then, kissed him on the cheek and then had to go as it was 10 and her bus went at ten past.
Back with the lads, Mick with a daft grim on his face, you scrubber. Yeah, Jim replied but she is tasty! The next round was in pint in hand Jane from earlier in the night slid up to Jim putting an arm around his waist and a hello. Jane was around 5’ 5’, jet black hair and a figure to die for, she was a girls Jim had known as a friend of an ex…but tonight she was clearly in the mood for Jim.
After the next drink Jane asked Jim to walk her to the bus station, handy because Jim was going there anyway! June cuddled up to Jim as they walked towards the bus station, Jim’s hand around her waist and just above her bum! The hand creeping lower as they walked, Jane adjusting its position every now and again!
Jane was on the same route as Jim but half an hour nearer town. At the bus stop Jane faced Jim and cuddled up, being the red blooded young man he was, the trouser department was experiencing a redistribution of space as certain parts were responding. Jane clearly noticed as she gently rubbed against him and gave a cheeky smile. Now I would of thought you would be asking what I was doing tomorrow night, Jane mentioned. Do you know Jim responded, I was just about to do just that! And, Jane enquired? Well, would you like to go out with me tomorrow night? No, Jane replied, much to Jim’s surprise, my parents are going out and not back until Sunday afternoon, so I would like to cook for you, is 7 OK? Fine Jim responded sounds good to me! They kissed, as the bus rolled up. They boarded and clambered up stairs. Jane turns to Jim after sitting with a seductive look in her eye. Jim pondered for a moment thinking lust or about to throw up? Jim gambled and the snogging commenced. Jim considered a grope but thought I have tomorrow night for that. Fighting all his instincts Jim settled for a hand around her trim waist, snogging with the occasional nibble of the lips….priming for the following night!
Jane left Jim with a parting Kiss, clambered down the stairs….not easy with 4” wedges. Leaving the bus she looked up and waved to Jim. The rest of the journey was spent with Jim trying not to wee himself, as the erection subsided the urge to relieve himself grew. The last bit of road was bumpy could Jim last? Off the bus strait in to the edge of the woods, along with two other lads. All standing in a row, one fellow pisser, chuckled…that’s better than coming with the girlfriend….OK Jim thought to himself! The rest of the walk home Jim reflected on another great night. There was a little stagger, but not too bad!
The lads were laughing and joking, most of the lads were dedicated boozers. However Jim had more of a leaning towards the ladies, much to the amusement of the lads. Jim couldn’t fully understand the hilarity, he suspected it was because the rest of the lads were a little unsure with the girls and maybe a tad unsure of them selves. Now Jim’s memory for names was not his strength, so he endeavoured to avoid using them. This could be a problem when phoning his conquests from the night before.
The first group of interesting girls arrived and Jim was the first to notice, one tall dark haired young lady caught his eye. She looked at Jim looked down then back at Jim with a naughty smile, mmm thought Jim. The girls stood next to the lads, it didn’t long for Jim to turn away from his mates and strike up a conversation with the girl in question. This was met with a delayed woooo from the lads, and a dog with two dicks from Wayne. The lines were not unique but Jim did have a way with him, hello what’s your name? With a coy smile she replied Kate, Jim replied the name suits you. Kate observed it’s a good job because I’m stuck with it, your Jim aren’t you? Well yes, but how did you know? You would be surprised what I know! Really Jim replied do tell me, or should I ask? Well, Kate replied, you do like the girls! Jim responded, true, the lads are OK but when it comes to anything after, drinking, banter and playing sport it doesn’t do it for me. What about you Jim asked, I don’t do the drinking with the lads, but there are one or two maybe one in particular I would love to have a drink with. Let me have a wild stab at this Jim mused, It might not be what you were thinking of but I like the odd gamble, how about meeting me tomorrow night? Can’t Saturday, but I can on Sunday. Sounds good to me, Jim, trying to be cool, outside Marks & Sparks 7.30? Great, Kate responded I will see you then, kissed him on the cheek and then had to go as it was 10 and her bus went at ten past.
Back with the lads, Mick with a daft grim on his face, you scrubber. Yeah, Jim replied but she is tasty! The next round was in pint in hand Jane from earlier in the night slid up to Jim putting an arm around his waist and a hello. Jane was around 5’ 5’, jet black hair and a figure to die for, she was a girls Jim had known as a friend of an ex…but tonight she was clearly in the mood for Jim.
After the next drink Jane asked Jim to walk her to the bus station, handy because Jim was going there anyway! June cuddled up to Jim as they walked towards the bus station, Jim’s hand around her waist and just above her bum! The hand creeping lower as they walked, Jane adjusting its position every now and again!
Jane was on the same route as Jim but half an hour nearer town. At the bus stop Jane faced Jim and cuddled up, being the red blooded young man he was, the trouser department was experiencing a redistribution of space as certain parts were responding. Jane clearly noticed as she gently rubbed against him and gave a cheeky smile. Now I would of thought you would be asking what I was doing tomorrow night, Jane mentioned. Do you know Jim responded, I was just about to do just that! And, Jane enquired? Well, would you like to go out with me tomorrow night? No, Jane replied, much to Jim’s surprise, my parents are going out and not back until Sunday afternoon, so I would like to cook for you, is 7 OK? Fine Jim responded sounds good to me! They kissed, as the bus rolled up. They boarded and clambered up stairs. Jane turns to Jim after sitting with a seductive look in her eye. Jim pondered for a moment thinking lust or about to throw up? Jim gambled and the snogging commenced. Jim considered a grope but thought I have tomorrow night for that. Fighting all his instincts Jim settled for a hand around her trim waist, snogging with the occasional nibble of the lips….priming for the following night!
Jane left Jim with a parting Kiss, clambered down the stairs….not easy with 4” wedges. Leaving the bus she looked up and waved to Jim. The rest of the journey was spent with Jim trying not to wee himself, as the erection subsided the urge to relieve himself grew. The last bit of road was bumpy could Jim last? Off the bus strait in to the edge of the woods, along with two other lads. All standing in a row, one fellow pisser, chuckled…that’s better than coming with the girlfriend….OK Jim thought to himself! The rest of the walk home Jim reflected on another great night. There was a little stagger, but not too bad!
Thursday 12 November 2009
Friday night gets going!
They leave the Wade and there is a brief debate where to next? The Hoffbrau house or the Three Legs. It’s decided the Three Legs, who needs a Umpa Band, besides the strippers are only on at Lunch Time!
As they head towards the main part of town they pass by a group of girls they know, the girl’s wave and the boys play it cool. Jim enquires if Barry’s still going to try to get in Doris’s knickers tonight. Your joking, Barry replies, yes but by 10.30 when your blathered are you still going to be saying that…..fuck off was the reply with a sly grin.
Four more pints of Red Barrel, the clientele were more towards the female gender, which was more to Jim’s liking. A girl and her friend wondered over to Barry and after a brief chat enquired, looking at Jim….who’s this then. It’s Jim, Jim this is Susan. Susan sidled up to Jim stroking his T-shirt with, I haven’t seen you before. All to soon the next pub was calling. Susan pulled her cigarette packet out tore a piece off and scribbled her number down and proceeded to slip it in to Jim’s pocket. Before Jim could say I’ll see you, Susan grabbed him and gave him a full on snog. This caused much merriment with his three friends. Outside the pub Mick shouted, you scrubber, your not going to shag her are you. Jim answered, would you? Of course but I’m a scrubber Mick laughed.
The next port of call was the Piccadilly bar, which was up an ally behind the City Varieties. Bit of a mix here some students, some that looked like students and the normal Friday night crowd. Four pints of Uncle Joshua’s Tetley Bitter, the real stuff! Another crowd of girls the boys knew came in. Marie walked up to Barry and squeezed his bum, Barry nearly choked on his drink. Jane approached Jim, asking, how are you. Jim replied all the better for seeing you with a smile. As the girls moved to the bar Jim looked over to Jane with I’ll see you later.
The next pub was a bit further away, the Holsters. It had recently been refurbished. It was getting later and this was the first pub of the night to have bouncers on the door. Evening lads, as the bouncers gave them the once over, they walked down the steps to the bar. Four pints of John Smith’s, surveying the scenery a few more ladies present. Wayne pipes up, looked there’s Korean Soldier and German Sausage! Jim looked at Wayne with a raised eyebrow enquiring, What? Well you know that party you missed in Horsforth when you were seeing that tart Sara, yes Jim replied. Well Korean Soldier came dressed like an extra from “It ain’t half hot” and she looks a bit foreign. Yes Jim interrupted but not oriental. Wayne pipes up Korean isn’t oriental. I think you find it is, no Wayne with raised voice, they’re in the East. OK, Jim decided argument about Geography with someone who left school at 14 was not rewarding in the slightest! Ok Jim asked, what’s the German Sausage all about. The party was well under way and we heard a screech, IT LOOKS LIKE A GERMAN SAUSAGE. With that we charged in to the next room to see her holding this lad’s knob and laughing and trust me it was nothing to laugh about….I felt like crying when I saw that Wayne laughed!
Time for the Whitelocks, up the stairs and down the ally great beer but full of students. The pub was crowed inside. It was old and narrow, outside a few benches with hairies sat around.
For some odd reason Mick decided now was the time to sing the Music man song. I am a Music man and I come form down your way and I can sing, the rest of the boys sang out what can you sing, Mick sang in reply, I can sing the dambusters….nah hah hah hah nan a nan. This being followed by the sing the Umpa band, Elvis and about then Jim pipes up, valuable drinking time being lost! Off they wandered.
The last pub and last hour, the Precinct. Three bouncers on the door Mick the Paddy and a couple of other men the boys knew well. Four pints of Bitter and a pint of Mixed Paddy, the Irish barman. The pub was most peoples last stop. This pub was more a mix between West Indian and white. As they left the bar Leroy was talking to his mate Desroy with a how ya doin mon, in his best West Indian accent. Then he walked over to the lads with his broad Yorkshire accent How you doing lads, Mick asked what’s with the Rasta accent, well you have got show solidarity with the brothers! Leroy wandered off chuckling see you later! The lads were feeling the beer and feeling all right. Now where are the ladies!
As they head towards the main part of town they pass by a group of girls they know, the girl’s wave and the boys play it cool. Jim enquires if Barry’s still going to try to get in Doris’s knickers tonight. Your joking, Barry replies, yes but by 10.30 when your blathered are you still going to be saying that…..fuck off was the reply with a sly grin.
Four more pints of Red Barrel, the clientele were more towards the female gender, which was more to Jim’s liking. A girl and her friend wondered over to Barry and after a brief chat enquired, looking at Jim….who’s this then. It’s Jim, Jim this is Susan. Susan sidled up to Jim stroking his T-shirt with, I haven’t seen you before. All to soon the next pub was calling. Susan pulled her cigarette packet out tore a piece off and scribbled her number down and proceeded to slip it in to Jim’s pocket. Before Jim could say I’ll see you, Susan grabbed him and gave him a full on snog. This caused much merriment with his three friends. Outside the pub Mick shouted, you scrubber, your not going to shag her are you. Jim answered, would you? Of course but I’m a scrubber Mick laughed.
The next port of call was the Piccadilly bar, which was up an ally behind the City Varieties. Bit of a mix here some students, some that looked like students and the normal Friday night crowd. Four pints of Uncle Joshua’s Tetley Bitter, the real stuff! Another crowd of girls the boys knew came in. Marie walked up to Barry and squeezed his bum, Barry nearly choked on his drink. Jane approached Jim, asking, how are you. Jim replied all the better for seeing you with a smile. As the girls moved to the bar Jim looked over to Jane with I’ll see you later.
The next pub was a bit further away, the Holsters. It had recently been refurbished. It was getting later and this was the first pub of the night to have bouncers on the door. Evening lads, as the bouncers gave them the once over, they walked down the steps to the bar. Four pints of John Smith’s, surveying the scenery a few more ladies present. Wayne pipes up, looked there’s Korean Soldier and German Sausage! Jim looked at Wayne with a raised eyebrow enquiring, What? Well you know that party you missed in Horsforth when you were seeing that tart Sara, yes Jim replied. Well Korean Soldier came dressed like an extra from “It ain’t half hot” and she looks a bit foreign. Yes Jim interrupted but not oriental. Wayne pipes up Korean isn’t oriental. I think you find it is, no Wayne with raised voice, they’re in the East. OK, Jim decided argument about Geography with someone who left school at 14 was not rewarding in the slightest! Ok Jim asked, what’s the German Sausage all about. The party was well under way and we heard a screech, IT LOOKS LIKE A GERMAN SAUSAGE. With that we charged in to the next room to see her holding this lad’s knob and laughing and trust me it was nothing to laugh about….I felt like crying when I saw that Wayne laughed!
Time for the Whitelocks, up the stairs and down the ally great beer but full of students. The pub was crowed inside. It was old and narrow, outside a few benches with hairies sat around.
For some odd reason Mick decided now was the time to sing the Music man song. I am a Music man and I come form down your way and I can sing, the rest of the boys sang out what can you sing, Mick sang in reply, I can sing the dambusters….nah hah hah hah nan a nan. This being followed by the sing the Umpa band, Elvis and about then Jim pipes up, valuable drinking time being lost! Off they wandered.
The last pub and last hour, the Precinct. Three bouncers on the door Mick the Paddy and a couple of other men the boys knew well. Four pints of Bitter and a pint of Mixed Paddy, the Irish barman. The pub was most peoples last stop. This pub was more a mix between West Indian and white. As they left the bar Leroy was talking to his mate Desroy with a how ya doin mon, in his best West Indian accent. Then he walked over to the lads with his broad Yorkshire accent How you doing lads, Mick asked what’s with the Rasta accent, well you have got show solidarity with the brothers! Leroy wandered off chuckling see you later! The lads were feeling the beer and feeling all right. Now where are the ladies!
Tuesday 10 November 2009
Friday night…..it’s the weekend
Friday night…..it’s the weekend
Jim rushed home, it’s Friday night the best night of the week lads night out! Home, quick tea and bath. The outfit, trousers were Bags so wide you couldn’t see your shoes, shoes with three inch platforms Jim was now six foot two, cap sleeved T shirt….it was summer!
Jim headed off to the bus stop which was about five minutes from where he worked, there were usually two buses waiting at the terminus at that time. Jim jumped on and sat at the back, three stops further down the road Jim’s mate Barry jumped on. All right Jim, Barry enquired not really wanting a response. They had started work, Barry a year before, they felt they were grown up now and too cool for school! Who’s out tonight Jim enquired Mick from work, Harold (real name Ian, why Harold Jim never did find out) and Wayne.
Off the bus at the station in to the first pub, the Tam ‘O Shanter. Owned by a Scottish Brewery, surprise surprise. The pub had tartan carpet, mmm Martin an unexpected attendee and Wayne were at the bar, Jim and Barry got pints or Tartan Bitter, what else? Martin and Wayne were both Chippies, Wayne pipes up how’s the first week at work Jim, OK he replied. It’s not real work, Wayne chuckled not proper work is it, being a clerk? I don’t Jim replied once a week I have to unload an arctic, so it’s not all using my brain. Thank god for that Barry interjected, they’d be knackered if it was!
By the time they reached the next pub, the Templar Mick and Harold were tucking in to their first pints of hand pulled Tetley’s, it was what life was all about! Mick was his usual quiet self, that changes after a few pints and Harold had been in the pub at lunchtime so was pacing himself, relatively speaking. Next pub, the Wren’s another beer pub (early pubs were mainly for the good beer, it didn’t matter as much later!) They all stayed in their two man rounds. Mick was starting to liven up, who was that scrubber you were with last Saturday in the Mecca Barry, she was that Polish lass who’s been telling me she wants me insider her. Jim enquired was that in English or Polish, what do you think! Mick asked, what did you get, did you get a smelly finger…..hard to tell, I’d had Fish and Chips on the way home and I was too blathered to remember, but smelling my fingers, I could of have, Barry chuckled.
Things were starting to liven up these early pubs were mainly drinking pubs no girls to speak off, just the odd barmaid and in the main I do mean odd. Next pub, the General Wade, or the thruppenny bit, as it was an odd shaped 70’s type structure. Back to 70’s beer, all got stuck in to pints of Double Diamond mmm. Now the female contingent was more visible, but it was early and there was drinking and piss taking to be done. It was an interesting mix, some student types (hairies) some businessmen (tossers) and some normal lads! Still the night was young on so were they!
Jim rushed home, it’s Friday night the best night of the week lads night out! Home, quick tea and bath. The outfit, trousers were Bags so wide you couldn’t see your shoes, shoes with three inch platforms Jim was now six foot two, cap sleeved T shirt….it was summer!
Jim headed off to the bus stop which was about five minutes from where he worked, there were usually two buses waiting at the terminus at that time. Jim jumped on and sat at the back, three stops further down the road Jim’s mate Barry jumped on. All right Jim, Barry enquired not really wanting a response. They had started work, Barry a year before, they felt they were grown up now and too cool for school! Who’s out tonight Jim enquired Mick from work, Harold (real name Ian, why Harold Jim never did find out) and Wayne.
Off the bus at the station in to the first pub, the Tam ‘O Shanter. Owned by a Scottish Brewery, surprise surprise. The pub had tartan carpet, mmm Martin an unexpected attendee and Wayne were at the bar, Jim and Barry got pints or Tartan Bitter, what else? Martin and Wayne were both Chippies, Wayne pipes up how’s the first week at work Jim, OK he replied. It’s not real work, Wayne chuckled not proper work is it, being a clerk? I don’t Jim replied once a week I have to unload an arctic, so it’s not all using my brain. Thank god for that Barry interjected, they’d be knackered if it was!
By the time they reached the next pub, the Templar Mick and Harold were tucking in to their first pints of hand pulled Tetley’s, it was what life was all about! Mick was his usual quiet self, that changes after a few pints and Harold had been in the pub at lunchtime so was pacing himself, relatively speaking. Next pub, the Wren’s another beer pub (early pubs were mainly for the good beer, it didn’t matter as much later!) They all stayed in their two man rounds. Mick was starting to liven up, who was that scrubber you were with last Saturday in the Mecca Barry, she was that Polish lass who’s been telling me she wants me insider her. Jim enquired was that in English or Polish, what do you think! Mick asked, what did you get, did you get a smelly finger…..hard to tell, I’d had Fish and Chips on the way home and I was too blathered to remember, but smelling my fingers, I could of have, Barry chuckled.
Things were starting to liven up these early pubs were mainly drinking pubs no girls to speak off, just the odd barmaid and in the main I do mean odd. Next pub, the General Wade, or the thruppenny bit, as it was an odd shaped 70’s type structure. Back to 70’s beer, all got stuck in to pints of Double Diamond mmm. Now the female contingent was more visible, but it was early and there was drinking and piss taking to be done. It was an interesting mix, some student types (hairies) some businessmen (tossers) and some normal lads! Still the night was young on so were they!
Monday 9 November 2009
Day 5 Friday….nearly the weekend
Day 5 Friday….nearly the weekend
Jim skipped to work, well not quite skipped maybe a bounce in his step I don’t mean he looked like a human version of Skippy the Bush Kangaroo more that the walk was passing quickly, I think! However it was Friday, he had nearly made it through his first week, god knows how according to his Dad. His Dad was not the most motivating person in the world more the sort of person who saw conspiratory theories everywhere. There was a tad of Alf Garnet, but not racist and supported Arsenal. His Dad was not a strong person and would allow his own personal discomforts about not being strong convey negativity in bucket loads!
Needless to say Jim had a sunnier outlook and battled his Dad’s negativity. What did Friday hold in store. The trucks were getting ready to leave, Jim walked in the office to be greeted by Burt and Eric, Eric bounced, morning Lad, Burt grunted something! The trucks started, and the grey plumes of diesel fumes seeped under the office door, Jim felt sick!
Jim balanced the cash book for banking in a record 1 hour 45 minutes and you’ll have to get quicker from Burt! Jim experiences a strange practice of reading the paper in the toilet! He watched as Eric tucked the Sun down his trousers under his jacket, with if Bert sees you with a paper he’ll blow his top! 25 minutes later Eric turned up crinkling, Bert looked at him quipping, have you thought about syrup of figs Eric and walked away shaking his head. Eric looked at Jim chuckling!
The way you deal with Bert, Eric enthused is to be his mate and jolly him along, that might be hard for you at 17 Jim but flatter him……he takes it all in ask him about his holidays!
Morning tea break Bert sits on Eric’s desk. Jim pipes up me and the lads are going on holiday I’ve never been to Spain were do you think we should look at Burt. Twenty minutes later when Jim was loosing the will to live and Burt was still on full blast telling him about the lovely walks at Lorette de Mar! Still if this brought Bert closer, what the hell.
Being Friday Fish and Chips were the order of the day, Eric had some end of the week admin to complete so Jim had Arthur the depot foreman to take him to the bank and chippy! Arthur was a dapper ex service man, who spent time in India and had a book load of stories. They got out of the bank quickly and headed for the chippy, the queue was out of the door, Jim quipped, fancy a pint while the queue subsides. Sound good to me, Arthur agreed, Arthur got the round in and told him about the time he drove 500 miles on Indian roads after the rains. There was snakes lying across the road, did you run over them, Jim asked, or course I did. Some were so big when I run over them they would bang really hard both sides of the truck, frightened the crap out of me when I didn’t see them! Jim offered Arthur another drink, no lad I earn more I’ll get that.
They returned smelling of Fish and Chips and mints! We sat in the canteen with our lunches, Eric extolling the virtues of a fish butty. Fish butty that’s the way Jim and chips later. Jim couldn’t care less, but to show solidarity he compromised mixed his chips and fish in his bread cake….Eric looked over at this commenting, daft bugger!
The afternoon flew, it was Friday night…..lads night out!
Jim skipped to work, well not quite skipped maybe a bounce in his step I don’t mean he looked like a human version of Skippy the Bush Kangaroo more that the walk was passing quickly, I think! However it was Friday, he had nearly made it through his first week, god knows how according to his Dad. His Dad was not the most motivating person in the world more the sort of person who saw conspiratory theories everywhere. There was a tad of Alf Garnet, but not racist and supported Arsenal. His Dad was not a strong person and would allow his own personal discomforts about not being strong convey negativity in bucket loads!
Needless to say Jim had a sunnier outlook and battled his Dad’s negativity. What did Friday hold in store. The trucks were getting ready to leave, Jim walked in the office to be greeted by Burt and Eric, Eric bounced, morning Lad, Burt grunted something! The trucks started, and the grey plumes of diesel fumes seeped under the office door, Jim felt sick!
Jim balanced the cash book for banking in a record 1 hour 45 minutes and you’ll have to get quicker from Burt! Jim experiences a strange practice of reading the paper in the toilet! He watched as Eric tucked the Sun down his trousers under his jacket, with if Bert sees you with a paper he’ll blow his top! 25 minutes later Eric turned up crinkling, Bert looked at him quipping, have you thought about syrup of figs Eric and walked away shaking his head. Eric looked at Jim chuckling!
The way you deal with Bert, Eric enthused is to be his mate and jolly him along, that might be hard for you at 17 Jim but flatter him……he takes it all in ask him about his holidays!
Morning tea break Bert sits on Eric’s desk. Jim pipes up me and the lads are going on holiday I’ve never been to Spain were do you think we should look at Burt. Twenty minutes later when Jim was loosing the will to live and Burt was still on full blast telling him about the lovely walks at Lorette de Mar! Still if this brought Bert closer, what the hell.
Being Friday Fish and Chips were the order of the day, Eric had some end of the week admin to complete so Jim had Arthur the depot foreman to take him to the bank and chippy! Arthur was a dapper ex service man, who spent time in India and had a book load of stories. They got out of the bank quickly and headed for the chippy, the queue was out of the door, Jim quipped, fancy a pint while the queue subsides. Sound good to me, Arthur agreed, Arthur got the round in and told him about the time he drove 500 miles on Indian roads after the rains. There was snakes lying across the road, did you run over them, Jim asked, or course I did. Some were so big when I run over them they would bang really hard both sides of the truck, frightened the crap out of me when I didn’t see them! Jim offered Arthur another drink, no lad I earn more I’ll get that.
They returned smelling of Fish and Chips and mints! We sat in the canteen with our lunches, Eric extolling the virtues of a fish butty. Fish butty that’s the way Jim and chips later. Jim couldn’t care less, but to show solidarity he compromised mixed his chips and fish in his bread cake….Eric looked over at this commenting, daft bugger!
The afternoon flew, it was Friday night…..lads night out!
Friday 6 November 2009
Day 4, Thursday…nearly the weekend! Jim was marching towards work still a beautiful August morning, Jim could not think what this would be li
Day 4, Thursday…nearly the weekend!
Jim was marching towards work still a beautiful August morning, Jim could not think what this would be like on a bleak February, there was far too much information churning around in his brain. As he neared the office Mick was wandering up and down the grass verge picking mushrooms, all right cock, Mick greeted Jim with. Jim enquired are they mushrooms or are you picking a few toadstools to sort someone out? Nice one cock, it’s a thought…..I’ll go and find some with spots on for Father, Mick chuckled!
The trucks had left early today, Bert and Eric were chatting with mugs of tea in hand. Morning young man both greeted Jim with at the same time. Had they both watched the Brian Clough interview last night? Right Bert said I will leave you with Eric this morning and see if you can learn how to sort the banking out next time you do it! By the way Bert mentioned there is a delivery this afternoon, you and the student will be unloading it, the depot lads will be out! Great Jim thought Clerk/Labourer what a job, no problem Bert, Jim replied. As Bert left the office to bellow at some random sole in the yard, Eric chuckled, you didn’t expect that one did you ha ha, no problem for a young lad like you!
11am Eric said right lad time to pick up the wages come on. They parked outside the bank, once the takings were passed over Eric collected a canvas bag full of cash, with the Banks name on it. Jim though, why not advertise to robbers! Eric what happens if someone tries to rob us, Eric replied, you don’t put up a fight….it’s not your cash! Eric slung the cash in the boot of the Vauxhall Viva and announced, Time for a swift one. We are having a pint with the cash in the car, Jim thought…..sounds like a plan!
The wages were collated by Bert’s daughter and handed out later in the day like belligerent Santa giving out Christmas presents to unworthy surfs. I wouldn’t say she was fat, the student chuckled, but the first time she stood up behind me I though there was an eclipse! Jim replied, why don’t you say it a bit louder I don’t think they heard that in the next building!
Jim took the cash and the rest of the stuff from the drivers and dutifully tried to remember all the requirements Eric had explained to him. It seemed OK!…..fingers crossed!
It was 6pm only Jim and Eric left, how’s it gone so far, Eric asked. It’s OK, Jim replied nothings that hard it’s just getting used to it! Trust me lad the easy things are the hardest to get right all of the time! When it’s that easy and you get it wrong, then life becomes difficult, especially when Burt finds out!
Jim trudged home after another long day wondering what delights were in store on Friday!
Jim was marching towards work still a beautiful August morning, Jim could not think what this would be like on a bleak February, there was far too much information churning around in his brain. As he neared the office Mick was wandering up and down the grass verge picking mushrooms, all right cock, Mick greeted Jim with. Jim enquired are they mushrooms or are you picking a few toadstools to sort someone out? Nice one cock, it’s a thought…..I’ll go and find some with spots on for Father, Mick chuckled!
The trucks had left early today, Bert and Eric were chatting with mugs of tea in hand. Morning young man both greeted Jim with at the same time. Had they both watched the Brian Clough interview last night? Right Bert said I will leave you with Eric this morning and see if you can learn how to sort the banking out next time you do it! By the way Bert mentioned there is a delivery this afternoon, you and the student will be unloading it, the depot lads will be out! Great Jim thought Clerk/Labourer what a job, no problem Bert, Jim replied. As Bert left the office to bellow at some random sole in the yard, Eric chuckled, you didn’t expect that one did you ha ha, no problem for a young lad like you!
11am Eric said right lad time to pick up the wages come on. They parked outside the bank, once the takings were passed over Eric collected a canvas bag full of cash, with the Banks name on it. Jim though, why not advertise to robbers! Eric what happens if someone tries to rob us, Eric replied, you don’t put up a fight….it’s not your cash! Eric slung the cash in the boot of the Vauxhall Viva and announced, Time for a swift one. We are having a pint with the cash in the car, Jim thought…..sounds like a plan!
The wages were collated by Bert’s daughter and handed out later in the day like belligerent Santa giving out Christmas presents to unworthy surfs. I wouldn’t say she was fat, the student chuckled, but the first time she stood up behind me I though there was an eclipse! Jim replied, why don’t you say it a bit louder I don’t think they heard that in the next building!
Jim took the cash and the rest of the stuff from the drivers and dutifully tried to remember all the requirements Eric had explained to him. It seemed OK!…..fingers crossed!
It was 6pm only Jim and Eric left, how’s it gone so far, Eric asked. It’s OK, Jim replied nothings that hard it’s just getting used to it! Trust me lad the easy things are the hardest to get right all of the time! When it’s that easy and you get it wrong, then life becomes difficult, especially when Burt finds out!
Jim trudged home after another long day wondering what delights were in store on Friday!
Thursday 5 November 2009
Day 3 – Jim’s Life
Day 3 – Jim’s Life
Once more Jim walked to work on a beautiful August morning, still pondering about repairing the Lambretta and save all this damn walking!
The trucks were revving up inside the depot as one by one the drivers uncoupled the vehicles freezers power supply having been loaded for the day’s deliveries by the night shift. Mick the boozer and his work mates. It turned out Mick went to the pub at 7pm and turned up at work around 11pm the worse for it! Will Father get round to decided the strong smell of beer is emanating from Mick or will three packets of mints fool him forever.
As Jim made his way through the diesel fog and walked through the office door, Burt was telling Eric about pratt he met at the club last night tried tell him we’ll all be retired in a few years with all the computers we are getting! He said look at Star Trek it will be here soon. Burt said hello, Eric will show you how to sort last night taking out!
True to his word Eric showed Jim, it took around three minutes with a few repeats. Give me a shout when you’ve done. Two hours later, many crossings outs on the form and several recounts of the cash and cheques Jim was still £39.56 out! Eric, thinking he was being funny, have you been kipping in here…have you done. Jim’s heart was beating at twice its normal rate thinking to himself, they think I’m bleeding stupid! Christ lad, you’ve made a ball a chalk out of that…give it to me I’ll sort it out! Ten minutes later Eric found a transposed figure…easy done Jim, but don’t do it again!
Time to do the bank run Eric drove, well Jim hadn’t passed his test yet. At the unmarked crossroads Eric missed a van by inches. The fucking bastard, Eric screamed. He spun the car around and chased the wrong doer! The van left the junction and thankfully Eric couldn’t. I’ll remember him, I’d have kicked his head in if I had caught him. Yeah right Jim thought, but still thankful he hadn’t.
The bank trip followed the same pattern as the day before in the bank swiftly followed by a couple in the pub. On the way back Eric informed Jim he’ll need to find a pub to call in on the way home…because that’s what you do when you’re working! But there’s no pub on the way home, Jim explained. Eric replied, well make a detour, and Jim thought daft old sod!
The pattern was forming Jim was desperate to make it work and was scared silly he’d be a failure, this is only a crappy clerk’s job….if he couldn’t do that what could he do!
Once more Jim walked to work on a beautiful August morning, still pondering about repairing the Lambretta and save all this damn walking!
The trucks were revving up inside the depot as one by one the drivers uncoupled the vehicles freezers power supply having been loaded for the day’s deliveries by the night shift. Mick the boozer and his work mates. It turned out Mick went to the pub at 7pm and turned up at work around 11pm the worse for it! Will Father get round to decided the strong smell of beer is emanating from Mick or will three packets of mints fool him forever.
As Jim made his way through the diesel fog and walked through the office door, Burt was telling Eric about pratt he met at the club last night tried tell him we’ll all be retired in a few years with all the computers we are getting! He said look at Star Trek it will be here soon. Burt said hello, Eric will show you how to sort last night taking out!
True to his word Eric showed Jim, it took around three minutes with a few repeats. Give me a shout when you’ve done. Two hours later, many crossings outs on the form and several recounts of the cash and cheques Jim was still £39.56 out! Eric, thinking he was being funny, have you been kipping in here…have you done. Jim’s heart was beating at twice its normal rate thinking to himself, they think I’m bleeding stupid! Christ lad, you’ve made a ball a chalk out of that…give it to me I’ll sort it out! Ten minutes later Eric found a transposed figure…easy done Jim, but don’t do it again!
Time to do the bank run Eric drove, well Jim hadn’t passed his test yet. At the unmarked crossroads Eric missed a van by inches. The fucking bastard, Eric screamed. He spun the car around and chased the wrong doer! The van left the junction and thankfully Eric couldn’t. I’ll remember him, I’d have kicked his head in if I had caught him. Yeah right Jim thought, but still thankful he hadn’t.
The bank trip followed the same pattern as the day before in the bank swiftly followed by a couple in the pub. On the way back Eric informed Jim he’ll need to find a pub to call in on the way home…because that’s what you do when you’re working! But there’s no pub on the way home, Jim explained. Eric replied, well make a detour, and Jim thought daft old sod!
The pattern was forming Jim was desperate to make it work and was scared silly he’d be a failure, this is only a crappy clerk’s job….if he couldn’t do that what could he do!
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